How can I get someone to stop smoking? -
How can I get someone to stop smoking? -
I hate that my bf smokes. I-ve taken it up a bit, but find that I-m disgusted with it, and when he does it. I can-t help but think about all of the health risks...my grandfather is dying from cancer and heart disease because of smoking. My bf stopped for a whole year, now he-s going crazy with it! How can i get him to stop without being too pushy, but at the same time, i want to be firm. I don-t want to be with a smoker. I saw someone-s suggestion to do the math to see how much money is wasted on smokes, and plan do use it for something else (ie trip). Any other suggestions??I gave up sucessfully using this method : http://www.zero-smoking.com , It took me about a month all in all and I have been given up for 4 months now and counting!I wish you all the luck, its one of the hardest things I-ve ever done.I hate to say this believe me I do, but unless he wants to quit himself he won-t. I tried for years with my mother. My mom smoked before I was born. I was exposed to it growing up until I moved away. Needless to say now that I have a choice I don-t and never have smoked. I tried so many times and even had a shouting match with her about this. My mom and I never argued so you can imagine how important this was to me and how upset she was that I wouldn-t let it drop. It came to a head again when my son was born. I told her if he stayed at her house she couldn-t smoke. She promised me she wouldn-t. He came home with clothes smelling like smoke. I threatened to never let him stay with her again after that. It wasn-t long after that, that my mother got sick. She found out she had lung cancer (from smoking). She quit that day praying she got another chance. She died nine months later. I blamed myself for a long time thinking if I would have pushed a little harder it would have made a difference. In the end, I know it was always up to her and only her and that up until her diagnosis she simply didn-t want to stop. She had 2 heart attacks and was advised by doctors before she was diagnosed with lung cancer to stop smoking for her heart. For some people that would have been enough but she still continued to smoke.
Good luck to you. I wish there was a sure fire way to get someone to stop smoking, I definitely would have tried it with my mom. I hope you find some way to get through to him, but if you don-t... don-t beat yourself up over it.. you tried.. it is his decision to stop.Hm, well.. they are expensive. get a jar and say everytime he buys a pack he has to put the amount of money he spent of it in the jar, and let it fill up. eventually hell see how much he spends...and vacation i dont think is a good idea.. its almost as if your -rewarding yourselves for letting him smoke your way to earn vacation-...and if you callculate the money and have him cough up the money instead of the smokes... i doubt thats going to benefit much, since youll go on vacation and he might try to smoke behind your back. Your best best is to tell him your upset with him. You were proud of him when he quit, and with your family situations its hard to be around him when he smokes. if hes a good guy he-ll care and try to quit. I mean, i hope a lover is more important then some cig. or play some game, kind of like... limit one pack a week. once he gets used to it reward him somehow, nice dinner, buy him a gift, go somewhere. ((but you have to treat him. its only fair since you are trying to get HIM to quit))...then eventually take his box of cigs and take 1/4th of it out... then 1/3, 1/2...and then just like take 1 or 2 out each week after getting used to several weeks of 1/2... its a long process but if you keep treating him and encouraging him, it just might work. let him wear patches or something too (it helps fight the urge)Well fear usually works so you could try to scare him to stop smoking. Ever see that one commercial with that old woman who has a hole in her throat from smoking?
YouTube video:
http://youtube.com/watch?v=L7bHdo2DJHY
Or look up before and after pictures of people who have been smoking for say 10 years or more.Knowing people personally who get cancer from smoking can really get you to think about it. However, it is your boyfriends who has to quit. You can-t make him. If your relationship with him is important to him, if you said I won-t be with you if you smoke, then that may get him to quit.
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